The Next Food Network Star

So, America's Next Top Idol Chef is starting it's sixth season on The Food Network on June 6 at 8p. I've never watched the show. Generally, I limit myself to one "chef" type reality show a season and that's Top Chef or TC-Masters. Duh. (Mmm...Voltaggio.)

However, I guess I'm going to have to start watching because the xbf is a contestant this season.

I am, of course, torn.

I want him to be happy and healthy and blah blah blah...all the nice things that you're supposed to say to/about an ex with whom you were totally in love. And I do want those things. For him. Sort of.

You see, dear reader, he is already clearly happy and in love on FB with a girl who is cute and successful and probably smart and funny. I haven't met her, obvs. (It would be really great if she was a little crazy. Or a sociopath. But she's probably not.) And it's much easier to stomach that blissfulness if he's waiting tables in Wisconsin.

But if you add rich & famous to the happy and in love mix...well, selfishly, that's just a lot for a girl to bear.

America's probably going to love him. Why wouldn't they? I did. And this is pretty much exactly what a dream job would be for him: cooking and teaching and performing all wrapped up into one well-paying gig. You really couldn't handcraft a more fitting situation.

My friends have decided that we need to watch. Together. With a drinking game. Take a drink any time the following happens:

• He uses a french accent.
• He uses a Family Guy/Simpsons reference or imitation.
• He uses a Napoleon Dynamite reference.
• He pulls out the southside of Chicago accent.
• He makes a funny/distorted face.
• He assists another chef in whatever they're doing. Two shots if its a girl.
• Flirts with Giada. Two shots if he flirts with Bobby Flay.
• PrettyChicagoSailor goes to the bathroom for an extended amount of time

So, best of luck, Chef XBF. We'll be rooting for (and drinking with) you.