Reason #4 to lose weight: Passport Control

(Let's start by assuming that reasons 1-3 are things like: health, attractiveness, make my clothes fit.)





Reason #4 to lose weight: Passport Control

* Are you like me? Are you unable to go through Customs in the airport and see the sign for Passport Control without singing it in the style of Prince?

Generally, the men and women who guard the borders of the world are courteous and abrupt. They don't chat. They may "welcome" you home or to their country, but for the most part, they aren't looking for a conversation about anything personal.

Except for the two cases listed below.

* Border Crossing from Israel to Egypt February 2008

I hand my passport to the Border Crossing guy between Egypt and Israel. He looks at my picture and looks at me. Looks at the picture and looks at me. This is what he says: "What happened?"

Me: Excuse me?
BCG: What happened to you?
Me: I don't know what you're talking about.
BCG: Before, you look like this (pointing to passport). Now (gesturing toward me). You must have had some good cooking!

Then he laughs and laughs.

I nearly started an international incident. Hurt feelings + 75 minutes of sleep** = cranky American.

Weirdly, I was sort of a goddess in Egypt. I guess they just don't see that many tall, uncovered blondes. I had a lot of marriage proposals. Just think...I could be running a stall selling spices in Cairo right now.






*Customs Office at airport from Thailand into Cambodia February 2009

I hand my passport to the customs guy at the Siem Reap airport. He looks at my picture and looks at me. Looks at the picture and looks at me.

This is what he says: "You're big."

Me:

CG: How much do you weigh?

Me: How about you just give me my passport now?

I was not a goddess in Cambodia. I did not adopt a child or infuse a tremendous amount of money into the economy. Mostly I was sweaty.

So, Reason #4 to lose weight is to avoid unsolicited comments at Passport Control.

**that's another story for another blog